Little Mai Sunshine: Clockwork Living
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Sunday, June 25, 2017

Clockwork Living

BB Dakota beret // Vincera Collective watch c/o // Mandee top // H&M jeans // Pura Vida bracelets c/o

It's a wonder how easily I've allowed time to swallow my life whole as it remains in shackles under its control. I've entrusted my life in under the hold of two ticking arms, unsympathetically circling through numbers that dictate my every move and decision. And just as things seem to get acquainted to this governing measurement, a glitch in time stirs everything out of place and I'm cursing at the hands that tick away so unconcerned with my brief disconnection, as I'm scrambling to veer my life back onto the never-ending clockwork of living. I have such a love-hate relationship with time. Mostly hate because I always feel like it's working against me when I really need it to help me. But every now and then, it teases a glimpse of a hopeful future and a preview of a feeling that tells me everything will work out if I just put a little more faith and patience in the timing of my life, and only then do I hold a sense of love for our peculiar relationship. Like how several aspects of my life can slowly find their ways to a mutual meeting point and I can envision a new chapter of better change just a few feet ahead.

They say "time heals" and I used to absolutely hate that saying because I thought it was a cop out to hold something so uncontrollable accountable for the trials and tribulations of my life. Am I really going to leave my destiny up to a permanent constant, so unforgiving and inevitably arbitrary, at the whim of time's attitude? But as I reflect on the experiences that I sometimes believe are little blessings in disguise, but mostly time's response to my ceaseless confusion, I'm willingly handing my life on a plate to an invisible guardian authoritative of pace, past, and present. I realize life is meant to be unknown, if not better to be unexpected. 

Time is on your side as much as it wrings you dry of hope. Your patience is weighted with trusted measurements and your life will be delivered in unperturbed thought. Here you are, throwing your doubts into the sky, tucking skepticism in your back pocket, and wearing Time slapped across your wrist to serve as a reminder that life is falling into place at the pace you deserve, whether you like it or not, but mostly because your life is set out the way it is for a reason and sooner or later you'll understand the method to all madnesses. And it's terrifying to trust such an invariable entity, but you're also ready for whatever it is that is in store for you and you'll feel relieved that Time was right all along, you were just too impatient to give it its chance.

Photography by Erika Dickstein

2 comments

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Clockwork Living

BB Dakota beret // Vincera Collective watch c/o // Mandee top // H&M jeans // Pura Vida bracelets c/o

It's a wonder how easily I've allowed time to swallow my life whole as it remains in shackles under its control. I've entrusted my life in under the hold of two ticking arms, unsympathetically circling through numbers that dictate my every move and decision. And just as things seem to get acquainted to this governing measurement, a glitch in time stirs everything out of place and I'm cursing at the hands that tick away so unconcerned with my brief disconnection, as I'm scrambling to veer my life back onto the never-ending clockwork of living. I have such a love-hate relationship with time. Mostly hate because I always feel like it's working against me when I really need it to help me. But every now and then, it teases a glimpse of a hopeful future and a preview of a feeling that tells me everything will work out if I just put a little more faith and patience in the timing of my life, and only then do I hold a sense of love for our peculiar relationship. Like how several aspects of my life can slowly find their ways to a mutual meeting point and I can envision a new chapter of better change just a few feet ahead.

They say "time heals" and I used to absolutely hate that saying because I thought it was a cop out to hold something so uncontrollable accountable for the trials and tribulations of my life. Am I really going to leave my destiny up to a permanent constant, so unforgiving and inevitably arbitrary, at the whim of time's attitude? But as I reflect on the experiences that I sometimes believe are little blessings in disguise, but mostly time's response to my ceaseless confusion, I'm willingly handing my life on a plate to an invisible guardian authoritative of pace, past, and present. I realize life is meant to be unknown, if not better to be unexpected. 

Time is on your side as much as it wrings you dry of hope. Your patience is weighted with trusted measurements and your life will be delivered in unperturbed thought. Here you are, throwing your doubts into the sky, tucking skepticism in your back pocket, and wearing Time slapped across your wrist to serve as a reminder that life is falling into place at the pace you deserve, whether you like it or not, but mostly because your life is set out the way it is for a reason and sooner or later you'll understand the method to all madnesses. And it's terrifying to trust such an invariable entity, but you're also ready for whatever it is that is in store for you and you'll feel relieved that Time was right all along, you were just too impatient to give it its chance.

Photography by Erika Dickstein

2 comments