How To Help Based On Your Mental Energy Right Now

Fresh off reading and ingesting all the news hot off the press, from Amy Cooper to George Floyd to Myka Stauffer (wtf is “rehoming”??)—oh, not to mention a whole virus—I was heated with emotional rage. And for me, to confront all this rage meant to immediately turn it into action and productivity. That’s just how I processed things and I always knew I could do more to help, especially having built such an outspoken voice on all these social media platforms. I have this responsibility now so it’s only right to use it for the greater good.

But I spoke to a close friend (maybe too aggressively, sorry Larissa!) at how distraught I felt, especially to see so many people stay silent on these widespread issues, and I couldn’t help but feel judgmental towards them. How can you not feel anger? How can you not say something? How can you stay neutral? Except, she pointed out to me that sometimes it isn’t that they aren’t taking action but that they may be at a different level of processing, and most of it may be internal. She explained that she was one of those people who processes things differently, especially in the context of where she is in her life. Maybe at a different time she would have been more vocal and aggressive but right now, we’re being attacked at so many different angles, some worse than others, some worse for others. So to say that we all must use our voice the way I am is to say that I expect everyone to be at my level and speed of processing. And maybe it’s not about asking everyone to meet me where I’m at with all of this but rather meet them where they’re at and how they communicate best because that’s how we get people to listen. It’s not about how to be the loudest or the angriest; it’s about tactful communication and meeting of the minds so we can be unified, promptly.

So we created this scale that helps everyone determine their mental energy at the moment and how they can help based on that level of energy. We all have the power to help but sometimes, it’s about what to do with our deflating energy that we don’t know how to expend anymore.

At each level, we included resources and information to further support your education and efforts. Of course, there is much, much more and we’re definitely missing some so please feel free to share that along.

Graphic design by Summer Lacuin

Graphic design by Summer Lacuin

I’ve given up but I still care

  • Show compassion—both for yourself and for others. It’s okay to just sit with what you’re feeling at the moment and listen to what you need right then and there. Then maybe call your family & friends. Check in with their mental energy, too. Sit with the feelings and acknowledge them together. Begin to have the uncomfortable conversations here as practice for how to have them with others. This is how we build empathy within our societies.

  • Write or reflect on your thoughts. I ask myself and my friends these questions everyday:

    • How is your mind? (mentally)

    • How is your heart? (emotionally)

    • How is your body? (physically)

There’s a lot to process here

Where do I start?

I want to do more and help

I’m really angry, put me in coach

I wanted to thank my friend, Larissa Liburd, for inspiring this post and helping me curate this list. She challenged me to do more than just post on my social media platforms, but take it a step further in providing help in the best way I know how. It’s important to remember that there is no one way to fight for what’s right. Action is using the resources and tools we currently have and being smart about it to help others. It's using what is available around us and making do with that to be of support and of empowerment. You have a phone. You have a voice. You have people to talk to. Every outlet is an opportunity to be better.

 
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